How to Spot a Pakistani, a mile away

  • Everything you eat is savoured with garlic, onions and chillies.
  • You try and re-use gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminium foil.
  • You are standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the airport.
  • You arrive one or two hours late to a party, and think it’s normal.
  • You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.
  • Your toilet has a plastic bowl next to the commode.
  • All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
  • You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.
  • You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
  • You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it’s the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch .
  • You live with your parents even if you are 40 years old. (And they like it that way).
  • If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel it’s your duty to spread the word.
  • You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
  • If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.
  • When your parents meet Indian for the first time and talk for a few minutes, you soon discover they are your relatives.
  • Your parents don’t realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs while talking.
  • You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.
  • It’s embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
  • You list your daughter as ‘fair and slim’ in the matrimonial no matter what she looks like.
  • You’re alw ays interested to know/interfere in others’ personal matters, what they are doing, where they are going, etc.
  • You have really enjoyed reading this mail because you know some, or most of them, applies to you!
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